“It is even more liberating to reflect that everyone else is in the same boat, whether they are aware of it or not”
‘Jitna bhi try kar lo Bunny life me kuch na kuch to chutega hi. Toh jahan hai wahi ka maja lete hain‘ says Deepika Padukone in a dialogue from the movie #YJHD. That’s the crux of this book, ‘Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management For Mortals’ by Oliver Burkeman. The book starts with a very practical statement: In the long run, we’re all dead, which might feel offensive to many people. However, that’s the harsh truth of life. Being alive is just a matter of chance, and nothing is guaranteed.
In fact, the author emphasizes that we have more or less four to five thousand weeks depending upon our health. We must live this finite life recognizing its frailty. We don’t need to rush because we can’t do and should not try to do everything. There is more to life than ticking all the boxes. You are this infinitesimal part of the universe that no one even cares about.
Life on a conveyor belt
Remember the childhood days when we were told that if you finish nursery, grade 1, 2…10th, 12th, graduation and post graduation, you will be in control of your life. The moment you complete these goals, the goal post changes. Now they will tell you to get married, have kids, build a house and buy a car. Things will be sorted for you in life. After that, there will be other experiences or goals to pursue. This was a never ending list. Wow. We also heard them. We followed this path without questioning our parents and guardians. We were running behind something which was never attainable.
Productivity is a trap
One of the most striking lines in the book is that ‘nobody in the history of humanity has ever achieved work-life balance’. The day will never arrive when you have everything in control. We live in the world of ‘existential overwhelm’ because the more we try to cover things, additional wonderful experiences will crop up for us to cover. The more efficient we become, the more people will expect of us.
New technologies and machines never reduced the workload as someone rightly said, work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. As per the research findings, it was found that when housewives first got access to labour saving devices like washing machines & vacuum cleaners, the society’s standards of cleanliness simply rose.
Distracted from distraction by distraction
Come to the real world of social media and distraction. According to the author, we don’t desire to take ownership of our lives and that is why we happily get swayed by social media. We want to numb ourselves emotionally by keeping ourselves busy and occupied. We have become impatient these days. Our attention span has decreased. It isn’t just because we don’t have time that we can’t focus on one thing. We ourselves want to be distracted so that we don’t think about those things that we cared about the most. All new devices and social media have distracted us from important matters. It has made us care about trivial things.
Oliver Burkeman also talks about how social media has made us angry, less empathic, anxious or numb. The biggest problem and most discomforting thing about it is that we don’t want to face the reality of life and that’s why we choose to be away from it.
Everything has become instrumental
The most striking thing about today’s life is that everything has become so instrumental. And that’s the lament. We are doing everything to reach somewhere, achieve something and prepare for the future. Last month, my friends and I started a community meet-up at my house. Many people asked what you will achieve from it? What tangible results will you get? I seriously don’t know. I don’t expect to achieve anything by doing this. I just would like to listen to people’s stories. It’s like your hobbies should also become businesses. No one wants to relax. No one wants to chill for a while. In fact, spending time on vacation and having leisure has been commercialised. It has become a chore. It’s like you relax to work in the future. Even relationships with time have become instrumental.
The universe doesn’t care about you
The reality is that the universe is totally indifferent to you and whatever is happening in your life. The moment you understand this, the burden you carry reduces. Not only the universe but also no one really cares about what we do with our lives except us. Rather than focusing on doing everything and trying to become this optimized, infinitely capable, emotionally invincible person, we need to focus on what’s possible in our short life span on this earth.
The most effective way to escape this constant race is to stop expecting things differently as the author points out in the book. Face the unpleasantness of this finite life. The more you try to control things, the more they slip through the cracks. You can’t control it and do everything. I know it’s easy to say, but difficult to implement. It is what it is. Don’t use the time, let time pass on you. The fact that you lack control, power, and the desire to get instant relief from all kinds of discomfort is something that you should accept. You trust the idea of patience. According to the author, there are three principles of patience. The first is to acknowledge the fact that life is a journey of navigating from one problem to another. The second principle is to embrace incrementalism. It’s like building a habit or making changes every day and waiting for it to turn into something better after a point of time. And the third principle is about doing something you like every single day without getting any validation and recognition. Just keep doing it.
What can you do to face the finitude of this life, according to the author?
- Have patience
- Keep a done list
- Decide in advance what to fail at
- Maintain boundaries everywhere
- Minimize your usage of social media
- Make your mundane activities interesting
- Be curious about your relationships
- Cultivate instantaneous generosity
- Practice doing nothing and sitting in idleness
- Consolidate what you care about
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Policy Wise 