On 8th July, 2023, we organised the second community meet-up at Ritanya’s Library. The theme this time was ‘Dal Subzi Feminism’. The meet-up started with Shrayana Bhattacharya‘s video. Mahima Vashisht shared her thoughts on the topic and shared her experiences of speaking to thousands of ordinary women through her platform Womaning in India. Later participants shared their everyday struggles in this patriarchal world and what they are doing to bring about change in their own lives.
Sometimes you read a book and it changes you forever. Your eyes are opened and you become more empathetic as a result. And in my case that book is Shrayana Bhattacharya’s famous book, “Desperately Seeking Shahrukh: India’s Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence”. The book is a story of ordinary young women whose everyday feminism is much more radical and inspiring than the elitist and more pronounced feminism fought on social media and other intellectual places. Sharayana in her book coined a term called ‘Dal Sabzi Feminism’ for these ordinary women. These stories of negotiating and maneuvering with the patriarchal system every day in their romantic relationships, families, at work and in their everyday lives are food for thought. It gives us courage to live a life of equality and fight for our rights.
Mahima Vashisht shared her thoughts on Raja Beta syndrome, weaponized incompetence and how a woman has to do not only physical work at home but also mental work to get things moving. In addition, she also mentioned how most marriages in India are managed by women in the house. If you notice, you will see that there are thousands of women in and around you not only working but also running their houses. However, the biggest irony is that despite all that women are not given due respect either by the family or by society or the state. She further spoke about the role of the patriarch in perpetuating the patriarchal system. For example, a parent or elder, be it a woman or a man, is the patriarch who forces others to follow these rigid systems. Khap Panchayat is another example.
The most powerful thing Mahima pointed out was that we, women, need to be kind to ourselves first and then focus on other battles. We don’t have to be so harsh. We first need to fight our internalised misogyny. She also urged us to create a system of male allies because when they say something, it is given more importance. It is sad but true.
Other participants Pallavi, Rutuza, Ajey and Chaitanya spoke about their experiences, thoughts and what they are doing in their personal lives to fight the patriarchal system. They also spoke about what could be done and how we can move forward.
The discussion ended with lots of cake and thoughts on what we should do at our next meet-up.
Are you interested in meet-ups like this? Then you are at the right place. Please check out Ritanya’s Library page and share it with your friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives. Also, if you are interested in attending the community meet-up planned for the next month, please sign up by filling in the Google Form.
If you want to collaborate with us or organise a community meet-up at your place, please write to us on the email address: policywiseindia@gmail.com
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