Community-Meet-Up at Ritanya’s Library

Identity & Freedom: What, why and for whom?

On 5th August, 2023, we organised our third community meet-up at Ritanya’s Library. The theme this time was ‘Identity and Freedom: Who defines it and what does it mean?’. The first speaker Annie Zaidi, author of the book “Break, Cement and Cactus: A Memoir of Belonging and Dislocation” joined us from London. She spoke about her book and how it feels to belong to a minority community. How her multiple identities shape her life and work. The next speaker, Kanmani Ray, is a transwoman and a lawyer who discussed her fears, vulnerabilities, and how she navigates her identities and how it impacts her freedom.

The more you write about Annie’s book, the less it is. It is one of the most profound books I have read in my lifetime. The book thread explores home and belonging from the perspectives of ancestry, language, multiple identities and migration. How your surroundings play a big role in how you feel. How your identity can make you feel scared and create belongingness depending on where and how you are located. It also makes you less free in a fairly independent country because you belong to a certain identity. As Annie has mentioned multiple times in her book, she became conscious about her dress, food habits and accent because she belongs to a minority community.

Annie spoke a lot about how being a woman is so difficult in South Asia in general and in India in particular. She mentioned the practice of female infanticide, feticide, malnutrition, skewed sex ratio, the idea of paraya dhan and that’s why parents/family members themselves don’t want to invest in girl child because they feel that investing in girl child is like giving water to neighbor’s garden.

Kanmani Ray spoke about how being a single transwoman in a batch of 400 law students at Delhi University was terrifying. She felt like there were so many knives pointed at her. She also shared her experiences of living in Delhi as a student and migrant. She also shared how it was difficult for her to be herself because of people’s attitudes and biases towards the transgender community. She faced harassment and discrimination from her classmates and teachers just because she looked or spoke in a certain way. However, she never lost hope and realised that the only way to survive was by being loud and visible in public spaces. She urged the participants to read A Revathi’s book, ‘Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story’ because it is one of the books that inspired her to be herself and understand the nuances of living as a transgender person.

While speaking about freedom, Annie mentioned that ‘freedom is something can’t be given, it is always taken’. This is true, you can’t ask someone to give you something so intrinsic, you have to fight for it. To be counted, to feel safe, to feel welcomed, to speak in a language that a significant number of people can understand are some of the factors that will make you feel at home and belong to a certain place. That is why the focus should be on the rights of the people of India. They deserve to exist and flourish. We deserve to exist and flourish. Rights discourse was the basis of India’s constitution and our fight against the British Raj. The time has come to emphasize rights discourse again.

In the end Annie mentioned that we need to have hope in ourselves and others and keep the fight going like these bright yellow flowers shining in my living room for the last ten days.

The discussion ended with other participants Chaitanya, Nupur, and Rajesh discussing their understanding of identity and freedom and how they are so closely intertwined.

Would you be interested in meet-ups like this? Then you are at the right place. Please check out Ritanya’s Library page and share it with your friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives. Please fill out the Google Form if you’re interested in attending the upcoming community meet-up.

Please write to us at policywiseindia@gmail.com if you want to collaborate with us or organize a community meet-up at your place.

Please click the link below to buy us a coffee if you like this idea and would like us to organize more meet-ups like this at your place.

A Saturday Evening on Dal Subzi Feminism

Shrayana Bhattacharya on Dal Subzi Feminism

On 8th July, 2023, we organised the second community meet-up at Ritanya’s Library. The theme this time was ‘Dal Subzi Feminism’. The meet-up started with Shrayana Bhattacharya‘s video. Mahima Vashisht shared her thoughts on the topic and shared her experiences of speaking to thousands of ordinary women through her platform Womaning in India. Later participants shared their everyday struggles in this patriarchal world and what they are doing to bring about change in their own lives.

Sometimes you read a book and it changes you forever. Your eyes are opened and you become more empathetic as a result. And in my case that book is Shrayana Bhattacharya’s famous book, “Desperately Seeking Shahrukh: India’s Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence”. The book is a story of ordinary young women whose everyday feminism is much more radical and inspiring than the elitist and more pronounced feminism fought on social media and other intellectual places. Sharayana in her book coined a term called ‘Dal Sabzi Feminism’ for these ordinary women. These stories of negotiating and maneuvering with the patriarchal system every day in their romantic relationships, families, at work and in their everyday lives are food for thought. It gives us courage to live a life of equality and fight for our rights.

Mahima Vashisht shared her thoughts on Raja Beta syndrome, weaponized incompetence and how a woman has to do not only physical work at home but also mental work to get things moving. In addition, she also mentioned how most marriages in India are managed by women in the house. If you notice, you will see that there are thousands of women in and around you not only working but also running their houses. However, the biggest irony is that despite all that women are not given due respect either by the family or by society or the state. She further spoke about the role of the patriarch in perpetuating the patriarchal system. For example, a parent or elder, be it a woman or a man, is the patriarch who forces others to follow these rigid systems. Khap Panchayat is another example.

The most powerful thing Mahima pointed out was that we, women, need to be kind to ourselves first and then focus on other battles. We don’t have to be so harsh. We first need to fight our internalised misogyny. She also urged us to create a system of male allies because when they say something, it is given more importance. It is sad but true.

Other participants Pallavi, Rutuza, Ajey and Chaitanya spoke about their experiences, thoughts and what they are doing in their personal lives to fight the patriarchal system. They also spoke about what could be done and how we can move forward.

The discussion ended with lots of cake and thoughts on what we should do at our next meet-up.

Are you interested in meet-ups like this? Then you are at the right place. Please check out Ritanya’s Library page and share it with your friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives. Also, if you are interested in attending the community meet-up planned for the next month, please sign up by filling in the Google Form.

If you want to collaborate with us or organise a community meet-up at your place, please write to us on the email address: policywiseindia@gmail.com

If you like this idea and want us to organise more such meet-ups, please buy us a coffee by clicking the link below.

Conversations and Chai!

We all crave a sense of belonging. We also want to meet strangers and have meaningful conversations. And that’s what prompted us to open our cute little space for people. Me, my spouse and my friends wanted to create a safe space for meaningful conversations. This was our first community meet-up at our home in Cooke Town on June 10th, 2023. Initially we were anxious, hesitant and unsure before starting this. However, twelve people registered for it both days and four people attended the meet-up on the first day. We had to cancel the second day’s meet-up because some people fell sick.

It is often said that a conversation can change your life. That’s what we want to achieve. At our first community meet-up, we had meaningful and fun conversations. Attendees talked about the different books they were reading. Then some innovative prompts about how we all are feeling and what we are doing to tackle it, led us to discuss the choices we are making in our current lives. People spoke deeply about their lives and the difficult choices they have made in the last few years. How they are challenging their echo chamber by meeting people from different backgrounds.

*Pallavi, Payoshini, Ajey, Chaitali, Chaitanya and Ritambhara (From Left to Right)*

Having a quiet space with like-minded people to talk about their fears, choices, vulnerabilities and much more provides ठहराव in our lives for a few moments.

To know more about the meet-up, please check out Ritanya’s Library page and share it with your friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives. Also, if something like this interests you, please sign-up for the community meet-up planned for the next month by filling in the Google Form.

If you want to collaborate with us or organise community meet-up at your place, please write to us on the email address: policywiseindia@gmail.com

If you like this idea, please buy us a coffee by clicking the link below.